When a man loves a woman

My friend John McHugh is always telling me things, things that younger men need wiser, older men to tell them. Things like whom to trust, how to love, how to live a good life.

Not long ago John lost his wife, Janet, to cancer. God knows she was a fighter, but in the end the disease won their eight-year battle.

One day John pulled a folded paper from his wallet. He’d found it, he told me, while going through drawers in his house. It was a love note, in Janet’s handwriting. It looked a little like a schoolgirl’s daydream note about the boy across the way. All that was missing was a hand-drawn heart and the names John and Janet. Except this note was written by the mother of seven children, a woman who had begun the battle for her life, and very probably was within months of the end.

It was also a wonderful prescription for holding a marriage together. This is how Janet McHugh’s note about her husband begins:” Loved. Cared. Worried. ”

As quick with a joke an John is, apparently he didn’t joke with his wife about cancer. He’d come home, and she’d be in one of the moods cancer patients get lost in, and he’d have her in the car faster than you can say DiNardo’s, her favorite restaurant. “Get in the car,” he’d say,” I’m taking you out to dinner.”

He worried, and she knew it. You don’t hide things from someone who knows better.

“Helped me when I was sick.” is next. Maybe Janet wrote her list when the cancer was in one of those horrible and wonderful remission periods, when all is as it was—almost—before the disease, so what harm is there in hoping that it’s behind you, maybe for good?

“Forgave me for a lot of things.”

“Stood by me.”

And then, good service to those of us who think giving constructive criticism is our religious calling: “Always complimentary.”

“Provide everything I ever needed.” Janet McHugh next wrote.

Then she’d turned the man she had lived with and been in love with for the majority of her life. She’d written:” Always there when I needed you.”

The last thing she wrote sums up all the others. I can picture her adding it thoughtfully to her list. ”Good friend.”

I stand beside John now, unable even to pretend that I know what it feels like to lose someone so close. I need to hear what he has to say, much more than he needs to talk.

“John,” I ask,” how do you stick by someone through 38 years of marriage. “let done the sickness too? How do I know I’d have what it takes to stand by my wife if she got sick?”

“you will,” he says. ”If you love her enough, you will.”

Valentine’s Day

The Single's Day is just around the corner. In China, Valentine’s Day is overrated and has a reputation for being exclusively for couples. But what about the single gal or guy? In that day single people often feel lonely and even worthless. There must be a way they can celebrate their day even without a partner. That's why the Single's Day came about. We should look at it as nothing more than an excuse to treat ourselves to one or a few indulgences.

I came up with some suggestions on how “single” men and women could spend the day alone, but not necessarily lonely. Instead of passing The Single's Day off as a completely invaluable waste of space on the calendar, try one, several or all of the following esteem-boosters to lift your single spirit this time around.

1. The recently single gal/guy. First and foremost, do not ever call your ex in case you get lonely. Exes belong to the past. Move on.

Yes, you must still be hurting and are going through the healing process. But remember this famous line from a song: "Ooh child, things are gonna be easier." In time you are indeed going to be OK. Don’t sulk. The Single's Day can be a day to spend with family.

You can even make it more creative by suggesting potluck and maybe plan some board games or videoke. During this time, family can offer you the most solid support you will need, so take advantage of it.

2. The still-single guy or gal. Some of you may be getting restless already because it’s been years and you’re still without a partner. Relax. Why don’t you call your other single pals and plan a night out? Have a nice dinner and go to a singles bar afterward. You’ll never know who you might meet. There is always a big chance you will meet someone interesting and single too. The Single's Day is also for people looking for love.

3. Otherwise, for the groom-to-be, you can plan a bachelor party or fraternity party.You plan every aspect including bachelor party ideas, games, party favors, drinks and food for your bachelor party or fraternity party (frat party). Since a lot goes into planning the bachelor party, it's will be tricky, fun but also stressful. Make it a very memorable one, why not enjoy it?

4. Buy yourself your favorite flowers. Who says you have to wait around for Prince/Princess Charming to add some spice and color to your dorm or apartment with your preferred plant life? Both guys and girls enjoy the occasional bouquet of Birds of Paradise or a lucky bamboo tree to boost Feng Shui.

5. The single mom/dad (formerly married or not). Take your kid/s out on a date. Why not? You can even plan an all-day activity. Go to the mall, take him to his favorite pizza place, watch a movie or treat him to play-all-you-can (with a reasonable budget) games at a carnival. It could be anything. Time spent with your kids is always worthwhile.

Do as you please. Ultimately, you know what can make you happy. That’s the most important thing.

Who says romance is dead? Believe it: Love is in the air! Choose what you like，trust your family and friends.

How to Find Time for Yourself

Do you ever find yourself longing for some time for yourself? Many of us are so busy with work, school, and Home life that often there is no time left over to do something that you enjoy. What follows are some ways to carve out that essential time you need to slow down, enjoy life, and rejuvenate yourself.

Scheduling Time with Yourself

1. Evenings with Yourself. Try to save certain weeknights just for you. If others ask you to do things those nights, just tell them you have plans. Use the time for gardening, reading, exercise, thinking, or the ultimate luxury of doing nothing!

2. Monthly Treat. Schedule a treat for yourself once a month. It could be on your lunch break, a weekend, or it could be leaving work early. Maybe you get a spa treatment, go see a movie, a haircut, play golf, or whatever treat you’re always thinking about but rarely get to. Schedule it in and it will happen!

3. Buy Tickets in Advance. sports, theater, concerts, or any other event you would enjoy. Schedule the plans with a friend later. Having the tickets already in hand will force you to make it happen!

4. Leave Work on Time. Huh? Yes, many of us stay at work late on a regular basis. If this is you, make it a point to leave work exactly on time at least once a week, if not more. And then enjoy that time! Leave work at work.

5. Join a Group. Here are some ideas of groups that can allow you some time away from work and Home: singing group, gardening group, astronomy society, book club, quilting (or any other craft) circle, biking/walking/running/etc clubs, ski club, etc. What are you interested in? Strike while the iron is hot. Look up a club in your area today and join! If you can’t find a club, consider starting one yourself!

6. Take an Adult Education Class. Take a fun class. If accounting is fun for you, then go ahead. If not, then think about some of these ideas: foreign language, photography, art, creative writing, or sports (kayaking, archery, golf, yoga). Belly-dancing anyone?

7. Exercise. For busy people it can be difficult to make time for this. But, you know what? You can do it!! All you have to do is decide today and then make it a reality tomorrow. A new habit is started with just one step. Take that first step tomorrow. Walk for 20 minutes in the morning. And then build on that success daily. Vary how you spend that time. On some days use the time for thinking and daydreaming. Other days listen to motivational audio and on days you want a real boost, listen to your favorite music! Here are a couple travel audio books you could borrow from your local library that will take you on a journey to a foreign land while you are walking or jogging: “Holy Cow:An Indian Adventure” by Sarah MacDonald or “The Places in Between” by Rory Stewart. If you’ve been exercising for a while and you usually listen to music, try go without any input for a change. Instead, let your mind wander and expand.

On the Go

1. Commute Via Public Transportation. If you can, ditch your car, and let someone else do the driving. Use that time to plan your day, do some reading, writing, creative thinking, or even meditation.

2. Driving in Your Car. Make the most of this time. Vary how you spend that time. If you always listen to music, perhaps also try: educational radio (NPR), positive audio tapes (suggestion: “Follow Your Heart” by Andrew Matthews) or even totally quiet time. Use that quiet time for brain storming. Either think in your head or even talk your ideas out loud. Bring a voice recorder. You could write a book via voice recorder over time.

3. Waiting in the Car. If you find that you have a certain amount of “waiting time” in your life, change how you perceive it. Instead of “waiting time” you can instantly change it into “me time” by bringing along reading, writing, or entertainment items. Or if you find yourself waiting and you don’t have any of these things use the time for creative thinking about your life or try some meditation.

Synergy

1. 2 Birds, One Stone. Look for ideas where you can fit in time for you within things you need to do already or that will have multiple benefits. See the ideas below to give you an idea.

2. Walk to Work. This is a a great one because you’re accomplishing many things at once. You’re getting exercise, you have time to think or enjoy music/audio, and you’re helping to save the environment.

3. Arrive Early. Any appointment that you have, plan to arrive 15-30 minutes early. Then use this time for you: reading, writing, meditation, relaxation, thinking, whatever.

4. Volunteering. There are so many benefits with this. You make a difference for others, you escape work and personal worries, and you grow as a person. If you could help one organization or group, which would it be? OK, now go ahead and Google them and find out how you can help - even if it’s just once a year.

5. Side Job. Find a side job at which you can make money, but that will also allow you to do something you love. Some ideas: coaching, teaching a class (art, writing, sport, hobby, anything else you know well), or training others (what special skills do you have that you could share with others? singing, windsurfing, math?)

6. Lunch Alone. Try sneaking away for a quiet lunch alone on a park bench or even in your car. Enjoy some quiet time with no one to talk to and no audio inputs.

Time Away from Kids

1. Organize “Mom’s Morning Out” Circle. If you have a friend or group of friends, you could arrange to share babysitting services a few times a month so that others in the group get some time alone.

2. Babysitters. Make a plan to have a babysitter that you trust watch your children once a month or once a week so that you can get some time for yourself. The key here is to take action and make it happen. If you want more time for yourself, you can get it. Just don’t be afraid to ask.

3. Gym with Babysitting Service. Find a gym that offers childcare so that you can take a yoga class, do some strength training, or even work with a personal trainer. Make sure you fully research the safety of their childcare program first though. Get some references.

A story happened on an island 孤岛上的故事

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened; everything was lost.
He was stunned with grief and anger. "God how could you do this to me!" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad.
But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.
Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it .

Life still need to learn how to let go

 I'm one of those people who's terrible at saying no. I take on too many projects at once, and spend too much of my

time doing things I'd rather not be. I get stuff done, but it's not always the best I can do, or the best way I can

spend my time.

That's why my newest goal, both as a professional and a person, is to be a quitter.

Being a quitter isn't being someone who gives up, who doesn't see important things through to the end. I aspire to be

the opposite of those things, and think we all should. The quitter I want to be is someone who gets out when there's no

value to be added, or when that value comes at the expense of something more important.

I want to quit doing things that I'm asked to do, for no other reason than I'm asked to do it. I want to be able to quit

something in mid-stream, because I realize there’s nothing good coming from it.

A friend of mine once told me that "I knew I was an adult when I could stop reading a book, even after getting 500 pages

into it." Odd though it sounds, we all tend to do this. We get involved in something, realize we don't want to be a part

of it, but keep trucking through. We say "well, I've already invested so much time in this, I might as well stick it

out."

I propose the opposite: quit as often as possible, regardless of project status or time invested. If you're reading a

book, and don't like it, stop reading. Cut your losses, realize that the smartest thing to do is stop before your losses

grow even more, and quit. If you're working on a project at work that isn't going anywhere, but you've already invested

tons of time on it, quit. Take the time gained by quitting the pointless project, and put it toward something of value.

Instead of reading an entire book you hate, read 1/2 a bad one and 1/2 a good one. Isn't that a better use of your time?

If you're stuck doing something, and don't really want to do it anymore, step back for a second. Ask if you really have

to do this, and what value is being produced from your doing it. Don't think about the time you've put into it, or how

much it's taken over your life. If you don't want to do it, and don't have to do it, don't do it.

By quitting these things, you'll free up time to do things that actually do create value, for yourself and for others.

You'll have time to read all the great books out there, or at least a couple more. You’ll be able to begin to put your

time and effort into the things you'd actually like to do.

Let's try it together: what are the things you're doing, that you're only doing because you've been doing them for so

long? Quit. Don't let time spent dictate time you will spend. Let's learn how to say "no" at the beginning, or in the

middle, and free up more of our time to do the things we’d like to be doing, and the things actually worth doing.

Saying no is hard, and admitting a mistaken yes is even harder. But if we do both, we'll start to make sure that we're

spending our time creating value, rather than aggravating our losses. Let's be quitters together.

What do you think? What in your life can you quit?

Hungry for your love

  It is cold, so bitter cold, on this dark, winter day in 1942. But it is no different from any other day in this Nazi

concentration camp. I stand shivering in my thin rags, still in disbelief that this nightmare is happening. I am just a

young boy. I should be playing with friends; I should be going to school; I should be looking forward to a future, to

growing up and marrying, and having a family of my own. But those dreams are for the living, and I am no longer one of

them. Instead, I am almost dead, surviving from day to day, from hour to hour, ever since I was taken from my home and

brought here with tens of thousands other Jews. Will I still be alive tomorrow? Will I be taken to the gas chamber

tonight?
Back and forth I walk next to the barbed wire fence, trying to keep my emaciated body warm. I am hungry, but I have been

hungry for longer than I want to remember. I am always hungry. Edible food seems like a dream. Each day as more of us

disappear, the happy past seems like a mere dream, and I sink deeper and deeper into despair. Suddenly, I notice a young

girl walking past on the other side of the barbed wire. She stops and looks at me with sad eyes, eyes that seem to say

that she understands, that she, too, cannot fathom why I am here. I want to look away, oddly ashamed for this stranger

to see me like this, but I cannot tear my eyes from hers.

Then she reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a red apple. A beautiful, shiny red apple. Oh, how long has it been

since I have seen one! She looks cautiously to the left and to the right, and then with a smile of triumph, quickly

throws the apple over the fence. I run to pick it up, holding it in my trembling, frozen fingers. In my world of death,

this apple is an expression of life, of love. I glance up in time to see the girl disappearing into the distance.

The next day, I cannot help myself-I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fence. Am I crazy for hoping she

will come again? Of course. But in here, I cling to any tiny scrap of hope. She has given me hope and I must hold

tightly to it.

And again, she comes. And again, she brings me an apple, flinging it over the fence with that same sweet smile.

This time I catch it, and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle. Does she pity me? Perhaps. I do not care, though.

I am just so happy to gaze at her. And for the first time in so long, I feel my heart move with emotion.

For seven months, we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes, just an apple. But she is feeding

more than my belly, this angel from heaven. She is feeding my soul. And somehow, I know I am feeding hers as well.

One day, I hear frightening news: we are being shipped to another camp. This could mean the end for me. And it

definitely means the end for me and my friend. The next day when I greet her, my heart is breaking, and I can barely

speak as I say what must be said: "Do not bring me an apple tomorrow," I tell her. "I am being sent to another camp. We

will never see each other again." Turning before I lose all control, I run away from the fence. I cannot bear to look

back. If I did, I know she would see me standing there, with tears streaming down my face.

Months pass and the nightmare continues. But the memory of this girl sustains me through the terror, the pain, the

hopelessness. Over and over in my mind, I see her face, her kind eyes, I hear her gentle words, I taste those apples.

And then one day, just like that, the nightmare is over. The war has ended. Those of us who are still alive are freed. I

have lost everything that was precious to me, including my family. But I still have the memory of this girl, a memory I

carry in my heart and gives me the will to go on as I move to America to start a new life. Years pass. It is 1957. I am

living in New York City. A friend convinces me to go on a blind date with a lady friend of his. Reluctantly, I agree.

But she is nice, this woman named Roma. And like me, she is an immigrant, so we have at least that in common.

"Where were you during the war?" Roma asks me gently, in that delicate way immigrants ask one another questions about

those years.

"I was in a concentration camp in Germany," I reply.

Roma gets a far away look in her eyes, as if she is remembering something painful yet sweet.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I am just thinking about something from my past, Herman," Roma explains in a voice suddenly very soft. "You see, when I

was a young girl, I lived near a concentration camp. There was a boy there, a prisoner, and for a long while, I used to

visit him every day. I remember I used to bring him apples. I would throw the apple over the fence, and he would be so

happy."

Roma sighs heavily and continues. "It is hard to describe how we felt about each other-after all, we were young, and we

only exchanged a few words when we could-but I can tell you, there was much love there. I assume he was killed like so

many others. But I cannot bear to think that, and so I try to remember him as he was for those months we were given

together."

With my heart pounding so loudly I think it wil1 explode, I look directly at Roma and ask, "And did that boy say to you

one day, 'Do not bring me an apple tomorrow. I am being sent to another camp'?"

"Why, yes," Roma responds, her voice trembling.

"But, Herman, how on earth could you possibly know that?"

I take her hands in mine and answer, "Because I was that young boy, Roma."

For many moments, there is only silence. We cannot take our eyes from each other, and as the veils of time lift, we

recognize the soul behind the eyes, the dear friend we once loved so much, whom we have never stopped loving, whom we

have never stopped remembering.

Finally, I speak: "Look, Roma, I was separated from you once, and I don't ever want to be separated from you again. Now,

I am free, and I want to be together with you forever. Dear, will you marry me?"

I see that same twinkle in her eye that I used to see as Roma says, "Yes, I will marry you," and we embrace, the embrace

we longed to share for so many months, but barbed wire came between us. Now, nothing ever will again.

Almost forty years have passed since that day when I found my Roma again. Destiny brought us together the first time

during the war to show me a promise of hope and now it had reunited us to fulfill that promise.

Valentine's Day, 1996. I bring Roma to the Oprah Winfrey Show to honor her on national television. I want to tell her in

front of millions of people what I feel in my heart every day:

"Darling, you fed me in the concentration camp when I was hungry. And I am still hungry, for something I will never get

enough of: I am only hungry for your love."

The father who taught the word

Before they closed my father’s casket, I left him with a gift. After all he had given me, it was the least and best I could do. He passed away the day I got my 1,000th career hit, in the final game of the 2002 season, so at his side I left the ball from my milestone.
Besides the surreal and horrifying last moment of seeing him lying in permanent stasis, it was also the first time I could remember giving him a special game ball without him slipping a $10 bill into my hands to congratulate me. His illness kept him out of whatever stadium I was playing in during the latter years of my career, though that didn’t stop him from patting me on the back from afar with a phone call or by what I could best describe as a “spiritual moment,” one when I would feel him sitting on my shoulder advising me while referencing a page out of his psychiatric repertoire.

I left baseball in 2005, with a Triple-A contract on the table from the San Diego Padres. I left not for physical reasons — I’d had a torn hamstring tendon in 2003, but it hadn’t affected my speed — but because it was my season for change. So I decided to walk away and once I did, like the vast majority of players, I was lost. It would be the first time since I learned to swing a bat that I would spend an entire summer without ever putting on a uniform. Even if you get a going-away party like the one the Phillies gave me on June 25th, 2005, when I threw out the first pitch of the Philadelphia-Boston game on a national TV, once the last partygoer walks out the door it’s no longer you against that fastball, it is you against yourself.
So you swim around trying to figure out what young, retired baseball players do with their lives. For me, the moment was stark without the guiding wisdom of my father, who could communicate with me with just a nod of his head.
Since my retirement, I have searched for the next passion that could fill the void that a life playing baseball creates when you are no longer putting on those spikes. It is a daunting journey, and many players never find that closure or that next love. But they keep looking, even if other parts of their lives are crumbling behind them. Maybe that was part of the problem: searching. I found myself agreeing when I heard John Locke, the main character on “Lost,” say, “I found it just like you find anything else, I stopped looking.”
Of course my father could never be replaced, though that didn’t stop me from trying to find ways to preserve his legacy, his worldview and his work. He was a practicing psychiatrist, but his passion was writing. He left behind a body of poetry that guides me now that I can’t ask him how he handled his sons when we wanted to sleep in our parents’ bed, or what the best course of action would be in dealing with a difficult business partner, or a racist coach.
I have always remembered those moments when my father would be spontaneously inspired to write a poem. He would just walk off and lock in, pen to paper. He could turn his already phenomenal vocabulary into music. When I found out that he started writing poetry at age 7, I was amazed. Outside of the original collection of poetry I have, he left behind two books he published on his own.
I didn’t stay lost forever. I found something that I wasn’t looking for: a voice through writing. Only later did I understand that this would be a bridge to understanding my father in another way. A way that led me to connect to a passion I didn’t realize we both shared.
Writing introduced me to people who were otherwise strangers and made them guests at my table. Words can appear to be part of a one-way mirror, but they are in fact surprisingly reciprocal — a dynamic I’m reminded of when I call upon my father through his poetry. In this way, my father stays with me. I can preserve his inspiring legacy more powerfully through writing than through the hummingbird pendant I wear around my neck to honor his homeland of Trinidad, or a picture or heirloom.
After my first column, I went as a guest to a friend’s church in Chicago. In the foyer, a woman who also knew our host was waiting. She asked me whether I had written that opinion piece on fear, steroids and baseball. I told her I had. She proceeded to tell me that she taught journalism at Northwestern and that she thought it was the quintessential opinion piece. I had already known that for me writing was passion and even therapy, but now I also thought that maybe I’d found my next profession.
Thankfully, I always knew my father was proud of me — before the major league debut, before the Ivy-league degree that was unfathomable to a generation of people who had only recently earned the right to vote. But despite living the dream of so many Americans and reaching its highest level, I have no doubt that he would be even prouder of what I am doing with my words. Words that I can leave for my son to read...one day.

Predestined love you

Moses Mendelssohn, the grandfather of the well-known German composer, was far from being handsome. Along with a rather short stature, he had a grotesque hunchback.
One day he visited a merchant in Hamburg who had a lovely daughter named Frumtje. Moses fell hopelessly in love with her. But Frumtje was repulsed by his misshapen appearance.

When it came time for him to leave, Moses gathered his courage and climbed the stairs to her room to take one last opportunity to speak with her. She was a vision of heavenly beauty, but caused him deep sadness by her refusal to look at him. After several attempts at conversation, Moses shyly asked, "Do you believe marriages are made in heaven?"
"Yes," she answered, still looking at the floor. "And do you?"
"Yes I do," he replied. "You see, in heaven at the birth of each boy, the Lord announces which girl he will marry. When I was born, my future bride was pointed out to me. Then the Lord added, 'But your wife will be humpbacked.'
"Right then and there I called out, 'Oh Lord, a humpbacked woman would be a tragedy. Please, Lord, give me the hump and let her be beautiful.'"
Then Frumtje looked up into his eyes and was stirred by some deep memory. She reached out and gave Mendelssohn her hand and later became his devoted wife.

To learn to use the pressure of work

What would you say when you are under work pressure, “stressed out and frantic” or “challenged and energized”? There is very little physiological difference between the two, says a growing contingent of experts who claim works stress has an upside. These experts believe that stress can strengthen you or tear you down. In most cases, you can choose.


Give stress a good name why recent work stress -- it's an indicator that your career is advancing. Think of a heavy work load as an exciting opportunity to push yourself, learn new skills and show your mettle. Complaining depletes your energy; instead greet an overloaded day with optimism. Tell yourself, “This is a challenge I am capable of handling.”

Put it in perspective sometimes it's impossible to talk about the positive side of stress -- say your computer crashes and you lose valuable work -- but you can moderate your reaction. Rate your distress on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mild irritation and 10 extreme panic or anger. Now, rank the importance of the situation from 1 （ a notice ）to 10 （ you're fired ）。 If your distress ranks higher than the seriousness of the situation, ask yourself: Is this something I will remember in four years, four months, four days? Then downshift your response accordingly, saving your emotional energy for disasters.

What will matter?

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no days, no hours or minutes. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten,will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will all expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Your gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

~ by Michael Josephson ~

he Important Things in LifeSometimes

 The Important Things in LifeSometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.