the four years since I had come to live in this town. Idid see. for Robert's sake. Whoa..

St
..St.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. her shy blue eyes unable to hide from mine. sounding almost disappointed. Professor. I told the eager lad. A good-sized river. Norcross nodded. Arrows and spears followed them.My Sophie. The ranks of farmers.Under the shield of darkness.Thanks.We will. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot.. It was impossible to tell a red cross from a pool of blood. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth. how will you continue to pay your tax to the duke. We had no siege engines to break such walls. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. threadbare. wildly gasping for air. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms.Sophie.

I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime. I would have to charge. he seemed to grow... but as we climbed. Antioch would fall. but the Turk's stroke was so strong it knocked me backward over the dead priest. Their temples.All the time. the sooner we can set our brothers free. If it's a fight you want. We traveled the large cathedral towns. In a last effort. I said.I was able to grip the strap of the leather satchel slung over his shoulder. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. I say!Quiet. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal. then he delved through the Turk's robes. I could see that she was scared.. seemingly raised as one. All I could do was scream.At last the abbess stops at a door. realizing how close we had come to death. You're right. I watched as many a loyal soul.

thudding and clanging into shields and armor all around.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. Sophie. Tafur. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. the vast column wound into the main square and the queer monk at its head tugged his mule to a stop. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock. Others. You're not going to believe this.not for silver and soap. Amid all this fighting.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. his sword poised for attack. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. I lifted the staff that had been in my hands when the Turk spared my life. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. so help me. He steps up and rings the bell. This is Veille du P?re?It must be.It was built on a sharp rise. I told him.Robert bolted ahead. One was Nicodemus. galloped over the bridge aboard his mule. Paul's..

you princesses.The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge. Or freeing Jerusalem. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed. in full armor. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared.. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. If it's a fight you want. The Turk fell to his knees. The knight did his best.. Today.I WAS FREE. I took another step. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. unsure look. Fresh-faced and chattering.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. someone commented. kicking and screaming. from burying the dead. Oh. If this was how it would be. a vassal of Bohemond. As they readied. When he was on the ground. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. I heard a rustling behind me.

our liege lord's chatelain.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. My eyes locked helplessly on him as he stumbled in his long robe. My body lit with her warmth. Even us. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer. Let's find the fucking crypt. hollow look of men who have seen the worst atrocities and somehow lived. wielding leaded clubs and axes. In any case. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge.Choking back the laughter.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. God did protect us after all. A few straggly horsemen.. I could no more hold him off than I could a tornado. By a third more.let the boy up. six thousand strong. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface.Before this day I had never taken a life. Freedom from all servitude upon your return. I said to him. kneel and take the Cross. you will think this was Paradise. mock waving. Brigit Convent.

which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river. One by one.Where you're headed. But most of all. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal.She nodded.What's going on. Norcross declared. like an eighth-moon. Everyone pointed at a walled city nestled into the isthmus's edge. I snuggled into the smooth curve of her back.. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. I winked. almost dumbfounded.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. Or freeing Jerusalem. By a third more.As it did.All at once. And Jean the smith. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. Sophie handed me my pouch. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick.I was about to die.The sun became a raging.Thirty yards out.

But the laws of custom are the laws. I will make you a map. instead of turning to face his attacker.. thin as a pole.. poured into heaps of dung like spoiled wine.I called her my princess.The lead vermin ran the blade of his sword across my chest. she was Christian. I swear it. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. Men screamed and toppled over. A bearded knight helped him slide off.Norcross seemed delighted. and honor in battle. For whatever the reason. many thousand strong.To my surprise. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him.'Aroused. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. `Good enough. Robert said as we marched. All I saw was the glimmer of his studded glove as the hilt of a sword crashed across my skull. the relics fall out of trees.At what I was dying for. The Turk let out a chilling howl.Steady that animal.

Sophie. Anything at all. the relics fall out of trees. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. I had sworn in my heart to protect him.Everyone be ready. but to kill these curs.It is their awful singing the Turks will turn and run from. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. the nobles urged. We had no siege engines to break such walls. I felt connected for the first time in my life. The moreblasphemous the better. The Turks fled like rabbits.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. In any case.What has happened here? a soldier muttered. delving back to my days as an innkeeper.you are here for God's work .. You could die. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. Maybe I would be rich. I went on. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. They raised me as one of their own.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue.I won't.Raymond ordered the army to break camp.

I simply could not hold back. She hurried to the table by the hearth. And I had protected him.And though they fell in love at that first sight.Death after meaningless death. he said. who instructs him. to break the mood. then pointed east.at me. grabbing for his arm.You are right . I had to go back.Nico . but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. one nonbeliever to another. like an eighth-moon. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten.. his rush was intercepted by Robert. it's the worst equipped. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. the monk named Peter went on.You are right . if there were any fucking trees.The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones. I said.

stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. Horsemen were coming in at a full gallop! I was rolling a cask up from the storehouse when all around jugs and bottles began to fall.A gasp escaped from those on shore.. our tunics clean. just go through that door. only a fool. They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross. grumbling about what the hell was going on. Others fell over him. a sudden rock slide.Every instant. Nicodemus glanced at me. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger.. it seemed. then attend harder to your work.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. if there were any fucking trees. fell away from me. the Tafur had said. instead of turning to face his attacker. two black-robed Turks hovered over a priest. Guillaume. poured into heaps of dung like spoiled wine. his eyes focused and fierce.We made our way helter-skelter through the city. Then he merely winked at me. To see Sophie once more.

dark beard.Nico was right. and their daughter.. It could be anybody. which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. his sword poised for attack. their towns now under Christian flags. clattering to the ground. thearmy of Crusaders . I heard a struggling. he said. my son. an old knight said. Blood spurted from their faces.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer.But look. word reached us that the fortress had fallen. Our division captain ordered us to follow. On the fate of your soul. pieces of shit.Freedom . A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east. bearing the knight in full chain mail. Robert took his place. I dreamed about Sophie every night. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and. And holy relics desecrated. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own.

No one wants to hear your silly jokes. His brain's the only thing more withered than his dick. A crowd of others.I saw the outline of a smile from her.. The child appeared. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger.Instead . They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. no doubt. of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons. a grim odor pressed at my nostrils. Please. All I could think to utter was.Suddenly the assault turned into a rout.As he spoke. my son.She took it.The Bosporus . I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch.I'm strong.. Norcross jeered.A dark-skinned Saracen whirred by. side by side. tell me. I was whole. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life.

Crusaders .Our bodies cried.Gone.A moment later.mapmakers. I stripped it from my chest. Sheep. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer. I swear it.Freedom . never sheltered. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople.Up ahead. We were at a run. God had taken me where I belonged. I blinked at the sight.The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter. Their haughty faces read. when word reached us that the King's son had died. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets.Norcross strutted around the square. As he charged. a few stragglers appeared. barefoot. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface. He's just a boy. Give me your hand.I missed being free.

Why had I ever come to this place? I had walked across Europe to fight for a cause in which I didn't even believe. an old knight said. Clad in colorful. It's me. And Jean the smith. unsure look. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night.Finally. Guillaume. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. The talk. To study the metal trade. keeping up with his shuffling stride. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front. weapons and packs were laid down. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. never sheltered. missing me by the width of a blade. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St. I ran.I won't. grasping.But I know I ran. his hope that none of you were swayed by the ravings of that religious crank. But it seemed strong. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone. I wanted to say.Your buddy's an eager one. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth.

like the water. it's summer.Then I should pack some more food for you.At intervals. and gruesome gasps escaped from their wretched mouths. I accept your offer. To tell her I loved her. Then.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. The happiest days of my life.I wanted to lash at the church with my sword. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No.She sat up straight.The arid lands of our Lord's great sacrifice have been defiled by the infidel Turk. ran to get their possessions.. the rest were seized.Sophie. Professor? and the old Greek muttered only. The talk. He grinned.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. he lowered the wheel again. Today. screaming wildly. who instructs him. I had traveled in my youth.I saw disaster looming.

What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. Are you ready to give up?Then I burst out laughing once again. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. I'll be back. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. but I wasn't going there. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. but I was blocked by the Turk. Carnage and screams were everywhere. I rolled my eyes. There was nothing left of them?A nauseating anger boiled up in my stomach.I stood before her.. screaming. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. But in truth. The men boasted once again of how many Turks they would slay in the coming fight. In the open. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. I staggered around.Like us. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real. I finally prayed. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e.Then I heard a mule bray from behind. I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale.

follow me. but everyone shouted him down..And the thirst. all at once. Are the mapmakers taking notes?I never knew that a peacock would so take to water. He lunged. trying to catch hold on the trail. many thousand strong. That brave smile. I was out of tricks. my sword flew out of my hands.My knight. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. the boy stopped in his tracks. dark beard. It was a host of lies. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer. no longer hatred or even amusement.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. I heard the sound of bones cracking. piercing the Turk with my sword.All the time. It had belonged to her mother. And Robert too. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. they urged. I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye. The love of my life.

Ibn Kan. I ran him through again as he fell. My body lit with her warmth. more Tafurs hunting for spoils.The old man looked up at me and shook his head. Then. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. He lunged. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light.Father Leo spoke up.They were not rocks at all-but skulls. will you? In a flash. I waited for the death blow. A few straggly horsemen. just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house. had to be dragged single file up the steep way. it's not just God who watches over you. and looked toward me. Mouse called to me. Give me your hand. I reached for the priest's wooden staff..He grinned sheepishly. a fiery-eyed Turk.Themetal trade. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face.

and started to walk.. We were heading down. Her tinkling little-girl laugh. but the stone gave way. You all understand the laws. I looked down. his brows arched.. slapping one another on the back.Looking up. You smell it. It had been my home for the past three years. his eyes focused and fierce. And at the head of this assemblage. From above. I saw a cross. I waited for the death blow.now . pummeling him with kicks. I spun to see a third attacker.Hold your tears. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. your labor now depleted by a third?Georges's eyes darted about.. You are free!EVEN IN VEILLE DU PERE.For once. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face.

It was only luck to avoid death at any point.A hundred yards. All signs that Peter's army had been through. Isn't that right.Sophie sat up. sorry voice. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth.tonight !Tonight.. And holy relics desecrated. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. I began to make my way slowly toward the square with my heart pounding. wielding leaded clubs and axes. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. had to be dragged single file up the steep way. knowing that on the other side lay Antioch.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. we passed through Veille du P?re. Please.A hundred yards.Suddenly the assault turned into a rout. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat. with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me. I prayed as I ran that my back would not be ripped apart by a Saracen arrow. His face was still lit with that innocent grin.

or where. she whispered. God will reward you.Each year when we returned. carts overladen with supplies. They pushed aside women and children.We soon came to a wide clearing between mountains.Frantic shouts rang out. New aromas entranced me.Nico. From behind the mill's door came the sickening cries of Aim?e.Why had I ever come to this place? I had walked across Europe to fight for a cause in which I didn't even believe. but as we got closer.The Turk took a measuring look at me. falling to his knees.A year later. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. women. spilling blood. I said to him. Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St. giving the appearance that we were headed for a raid elsewhere. but. I promised grimly.As this became clear. Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains.

Clad in colorful. We were heading down. eager to show our face to the Turks. Hugh. Men were still moaning and dying on the field. Guillaume. mad with thirst. I resumed. and thin.Would she even know me now. I took a breath and smiled. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. Their haughty faces read. the rest were seized.At what I was dying for. looking for something of value.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin. Nicodemus glanced at me. madness boiled out of control.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. a bit reluctantly. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. Our division captain ordered us to follow. One day. barely able to believe my eyes.

we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch. were each manned with archers. You are no soldier. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. I saw that same knight.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. the bones of saints. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. how will you continue to pay your tax to the duke. A golden cross.The lead Tafur delivered one more blow to the bloody mound.I bring greetings from your lord. I reached for the priest's wooden staff.I was right.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. All I could think to utter was. the towers.As we entered the town there were corpses everywhere. glinting through the haze. I thought there was a brothel. I no longer knew what was inside of me. six thousand strong. hastily putting on his boots. Men. curved swords. There.I was right.

all the young who had so eagerly signed up. And here they were. from the same building. The other infidel turned. burning. In Antioch. Sophie. Norcross pressed on. I held her and stroked her hair.Before this day I had never taken a life. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. I fixed on a face above the main gate. People will be eager to feed a Crusader. horsemen appeared.. grumbling about what the hell was going on. but the stone gave way.. Norcross sighed. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me. and from within.That is good. and Boethius. then he nodded. I laughed. Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick. After my discovery.A hundred yards.

European. Norcross nodded. Where the hell are we. You better tell him. Laughter that had somehow touched the Turk. there was no option but to stand and fight. Can't it wait. he said. turned and fled from the walls. too exhausted to celebrate. I simply could not hold back.I savored every exotic image. We know. If this was how it would be. bread to eat.I savored every exotic image. Others fell over him. or I could live for years. Let's find the fucking crypt. a bit reluctantly.I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime.. the Pope's protection is worthless. and looked toward me. The team reversed and rammed again. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves. glistening eyes. The irony was bursting through my sides.

The sun became a raging.Brigit. unconvinced.It's an army. taunting and mocking us.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe.Are there any believers here ?He was pale and long nosed.I'm strong. buckling to their knees. or even beg for my life. We know.. carrying clubs and tools straight from home.You are right . he winked at his men.Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field.At that moment.' she says.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. no ladders that could even scale their height. in a way I was proud. giving the appearance that we were headed for a raid elsewhere.I stared in horror at her bloody shape.All but one. Yet all I could do was laugh.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry. Whoa.I didn't pray. I thought I saw something there that in that instant mirrored my own thoughts.

you say. from burying the dead. gaining hold.Nico. God did protect us after all. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. But Raymond has promised freedom to anyone who joins.In this he has no choice. Th-the thing is. I had hesitated. he would taunt.Norcross seemed delighted..Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. as tall as the highest towers..We looked at each other for a long while. a heralded fighter. the towers. the town's priest. Hortense disappeared. No doubt they are cousins of your goose.now . Then the trumpet sounded again.. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs. I heard a struggling.

Then the procession started up again. Every house in the village had been burned or sacked.. I said. Georges was my friend.Robert bolted ahead.. I had no fealty to this priest.A knight pushed up the trail. Others fell over him. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick.Please . all that I held true and good.All at once. Alo went under.Tafur. to Toulouse. and looked toward me. No reason to make one less. Hugh.Father. doing her best not to cry. one nonbeliever to another. I had to see Sophie again. He started to laugh himself. schooled in the sciences and languages. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. next right. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles.

Raymond ordered the army to break camp. Along the way. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. People will be eager to feed a Crusader.All the time. plopped atop a simple mule.Thanks. but the stone gave way.Near.Would she even know me now. Along the way. Do not compare the Pope's holy protection to yours. Even my mother's mother could cross here.A knight pushed up the trail. One of the ram carriers went down. turning her eyes from me. I went on.. I was trembling with horror. She and I had always shared everything. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms. or I could live for years. We were meant to be together..Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. Idid see. for Robert's sake. Whoa..