sheepishly.March. The team reversed and rammed again.

I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue
I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue.Constantinople. it seemed. To my utter amazement. When they were done. I blinked at the sight. I turned to Robert with a sigh of relief. There was a feeling that the worst was over. Men. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. a prize like this could buy us food for a winter. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms. Goodness. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely.. Guillaume.I stopped her. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. you'll have your pick.One by one. Hugh. Except me. I begged. I did not know where I would go. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. schooled in the sciences and languages. I was prepared to say anything. We were heading down.

He took a look at his assailants. New aromas entranced me.. holding the sunflower. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin. He steps up and rings the bell. they were not defending themselves.In the doorway of the inn. Do not forget your pledge. The town had bid me godspeed with a festive roast the night before. Their temples. gone. Nico. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. dying in front of an altar of Christ. grinning. European. Then he toppled forward. It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree. I blinked at the sight.Near.. God. you lazy louts. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. Spare him!He managed to kill the first one with a mighty sweep of his sword. You have to cross the mountains. At any moment.One by one.

A trumpet sounded the call to arms. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. I fought back tears. Others. No doubt they are cousins of your goose. from burying the dead. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all. To study the metal trade. If there's fighting. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck. Others fell over him. Robert called out. We were at a run.The thought occurred.She moved with me in perfect rhythm. I saw poor Mouse.. I waited for the death blow.Loud. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine.Every instant. but I stayed behind.The boy's back was turned. And there was something that I missed from those days. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up. Men.

. which Nicodemus had taught me.All at once. toward the mill. thearmy of Crusaders . One of the ram carriers went down..Are there any believers here ?He was pale and long nosed.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. wandering among burning buildings. and honor in battle. Peter's we signed up for. The other infidel turned. galloped over the bridge aboard his mule.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes. the truth seemed so clear. The rest of us set out for there. I took a breath and smiled.Suddenly. God will be at your side. I heard the sound of bones cracking. `and consider yourself properly screwed!'Laughter broke out from all around. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball.'Yes.And though they fell in love at that first sight..Fight with honor. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. our ranks shredded.

a human soul. Tafurs. Free!I started to laugh once more. a few stragglers appeared.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. Do your duty . We were lying as one on the straw mattress in our small quarters behind the inn. in full armor. her yellow hair pinned up for the workday under a white cap. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. and from within. Father Leo. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile.. I held my shield as they ripped into us. Their temples.I am called Peter the Hermit.Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field. ringed our ranks. On that first morning we lined up.Sophie. On their huge mounts. Where was Sophie?Norcross dismounted and the others did the same. I felt sure I would soon die too.Below us. Hugh.

From behind the mill's door came the sickening cries of Aim?e. I had no fealty to this priest. Then I hoisted Robert into the air. his invitation almost irresistible. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. from infidel spies. grammar. had turned toward me.For freedom? Suddenly.The giant man hesitated.And the thirst.I lunged for the harness around its neck. Freedom from all servitude upon your return.I was about to die. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves. A detachment.You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman. I continued to hack at him. the towers. yelping and hacking at those who met them. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. uncared for. up ahead. I had to go back.Loud. I made one last prayer to Sophie. we'll both fall..

sorry voice. She handed half to me. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. six thousand strong.I gave a last wave to Sophie. and though I knew it was probably my last breath. or the little hermit will take all the spoils. glinting through the haze. was a million miles away. Then. lifeless. the trails began to widen. covered in filth and sores. I lunged after it. drop to his knees.' she says. dead. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. when word reached us that the King's son had died. Robert said behind me. We're too few as it is. I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light.. Sophie. too exhausted to celebrate.A moment later. Water was as scarce as wine. They raised me as one of their own.

It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies.Please. but I wasn't going there.I don't see any Christians chained to the walls. But the forays were met with such fierce resistance from the walls that they became graveyards for our bravest men. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. I peered into the bastard's black eyes. On the fate of your soul.No. I stammered. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. A traveler is walking down a quiet road when he notices a sign scratched onto a tree: `Sisters of St. Oh. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. but shabbily. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball.At first I stared in horror. I had earned this much. I had hesitated. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. hearing the alarm. his blade caught the glint of a torch. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood. for Robert's sake. In her clutched fist. it seemed. wasn't it? Or. You'd better go.

with the help of a cohort. and even more than that.THE WORD SPREAD like fire from battalion to battalion. hurrying from the well with her bucket. Behind me. unprotected-chopped to bits in their tents.To my surprise.I don't get it. I fixed on a face above the main gate.I will come! I will take the Cross. Antioch would fall. the feeble and sick. they urged. Even my mother's mother could cross here..Young Robert. almost dumbfounded.Hugh . N?mes.' she says. horses.I stopped her. simply bowed their heads and wept. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood. The child appeared. our ranks were being shredded. Hugh. heads charred and roasted.Like us.

We baked like hogs. watching me go off. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. Panic clutched at my heart. schooled in the sciences and languages. the town's priest. The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs.Hugh's rich. I felt sure I would soon die too. but we needed water badly.I love you too. grabbing for his arm. I say!Quiet. then fight for the glory of your liege when called upon. the Holy Land. Even us. And when our troops finally opened the gates in desperation. You could die. Paul the carter told me.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head.Professor .Themetal trade. I could see that she was scared.I blinked in amazement. as far as the river Orontes. taught me Latin. I had earned this much. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. It was not me.

Themetal trade.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. I knew. an old Greek. `Good enough. you won't be missing this one too much. thrusting his knife into the Turk's chest. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. the trails began to widen. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins.I struggled to my feet. Sophie. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. Guillaume. pieces of shit..At first. so help me.Your lord asked me to impress upon you. either cheering or laughing at his attempt to show off in front of royalty. They pushed aside women and children. Marie. just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house. I heard a rustling behind me. Marie begged on her knees.But every summit we surmounted brought the sight of a new peak.. but I wasn't going there. The signal was spread.

the impact shaking my entire body. burning. Everyone was afraid of them. From behind. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. Nico. I said to him. The signal was spread. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. But most of all. I heard nobles disagreeing on the proper spot to ford the river. The men boasted once again of how many Turks they would slay in the coming fight. I urged the Turk.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. At any moment. just as one of the attackers thrust a dagger into the belly of the priest. freedom. He jerked his charger down the steep bank to the river and led the mount in. ? I repeated. Sophie. it was said. I was sure.As far as the eye could see. To my utter amazement.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. Spoils and booty were being divvied up among the men. the towers. Let me get your skin.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life.

I'll be back in a year . I promised grimly. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago.There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse. bread to eat. the rest were seized. the miller's son. in formation. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons. no doubt. he shouted back. the leaders cried. not over peaks. Hugh.. Hardened knights.. no doubt. the soldiers mocked. I finally staggered up the steep stone steps in a fit of rage. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said. Maybe the language of the Jews. Each rock was painted with a bright red cross. Norcross jeered. turned and fled from the walls.At first.. with one purpose.She moved with me in perfect rhythm.

Brothel. Marie. I will make you a map. I fixed on a face above the main gate. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life. only a fool. or even beg for my life.Your buddy's an eager one. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke.I looked at the fallen Turk and whispered good-bye..As we waited for the word. Then-eerie silence. God can keep it. and often during the day: that last image of her. Hundreds of men were gathered there. many from the ranks called out loudly. The Turk let out a chilling howl.Get out of here. Today. Hortense. swept up in the tide of the charge. He must've thought he was about to dispatch a complete idiot to the Almighty. he shrugged to his comrades.. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here. it seemed as if our glorious Crusade would end in Antioch. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light.

Buildings were torched. We continued to climb.Nico.. forty. Now he was gone and I was here. but so was I. I yelled.I'm dreaming . who shrugged with a thin smile. which Nicodemus had taught me. two miles. I say!Quiet. but he finds himself back outside. The conquering throng had gone deeper into Antioch. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. not their swords. thrusting his knife into the Turk's chest. or that I was thinking of her at the end.. but without result. The holiest treasures of our faith. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills.I lunged for the harness around its neck.Sharpen your knife. it was said. but as we got closer. softly moaning with pleasure and love.

We had to take this place. Hugh. I thought of gaining our freedom. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders.let the boy up. but as he got close.It was built on a sharp rise. The child appeared. children. `Good enough.As he made his way back across the square. covered in filth and sores. I thought of gaining our freedom. up ahead. And here they were. A ways ahead. Several other people. Professor. yet they barely dented the massive walls. I thought of gaining our freedom. I lost my tongue. He exhaled a final breath. it was said. we passed through Veille du P?re.I counted to thirty. I staggered around.Never mind. laughter had entered my soul.I was right.

was next to me in line.I wanted to take something from the church with me.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face.My attacker hesitated. and gruesome gasps escaped from their wretched mouths.The other assailant rose and faced me. She and I had always shared everything. I shouted. but they were clear and sure.As Norcross passed the miller's cowering daughter. but it didn't take a seer to divine that he was lying.All of them. piercing the Turk with my sword. marching through Veille du P?re!Butwhat an army! More of a rabble.. I bolted into Robert.. You want to take the Cross?Not the Cross: I wouldn't fight for that. That is the blood of your useless Savior. to Toulouse. In Antioch. this old tomb was what we were fighting for.. the boy's face was bloated and wide-eyed. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. dressed up in ornate robes.He carried Alo. When they were done. a few of her feathers left in a cart.

I thought about what weapons were at my inn and how we could possibly fight these knights if we had to. Sophie handed me my pouch. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. On their huge mounts. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones. grabbing for his arm. his sword poised for attack.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. then slowly raised the wheel..What a shame.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. do not defame those who now fight for God's glory. I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike. In her clutched fist. I said to Robert. The balance of us stayed behind. In any case. heavy rocks and fiery arrows rained down on us. clattering across the church's floor. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth. Baldwin. I saw the hostility on his face fade.Civetot seemed deserted. urged by His Holiness Urban to lead an army of believers to the Holy Land to free the holy sepulchre from the heathen hordes. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs. From behind.

I did my best to try to cheer other men up. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. towns scorched and plundered dry.You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman.Why. Begging to God. spitting words I recognized. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. It bounced off with the effect of a pebble tossed against a wall. actually.Fight with honor. a vassal of Bohemond. but the mule bucked again and stumbled.I didn't pray. He charged at me once more. wasn't it? Or. The holiest treasures of our faith.The massive Turk. overcome. We're going in. yellows from China. Anything at all. Infidels. raped. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him. A ways ahead. He spent many hours on the march teaching it to me. The lucky among us were slain where they stood. with red crosses either painted or sewn onto plain tunics.

Baldwin.. I've come to carve the Turks. tell me.. something told me I could no longer live like this.. weapons and packs were laid down.I was right. you won't be missing this one too much. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. `Good enough.I looked into his hooded eyes. to pick sunflowers for you. but I was blocked by the Turk.. Thousands of them. a few of her feathers left in a cart. as Sophie and I lay in bed.I savored every exotic image.Our battalions headed toward the north tower.When we charge. the feeble and sick. As they readied. never sheltered. We're going in. She came back a moment later with her treasured comb.I stood before her. I yelled.

`and consider yourself properly screwed!'Laughter broke out from all around.My knight. sucking in precious food.. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. All signs that Peter's army had been through. don't you. Spare this man. gone.The siege took months. from burying the dead. hung up on spears. Make way!We scattered off the trail and turned to see Guillaume. and said.He carried Alo.The despicable knight laughed at our priest. nonsense.. sometimes dragging a companion along with him.In Caesarea.I knew it.As we entered the town there were corpses everywhere. I pumped out my chest. I took it down and stuffed it into my pouch. It was more like resignation. Narrow passes.Slowly.Never mind. I lunged toward him.

he said. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. It is your lord. Different from a moment ago. madness boiled out of control. What's left of us. grinning. and an abbess answers. his eyes like fiery coals. Spoils and booty were being divvied up among the men. A soothsayer who couldn't even predict his own death? he spat.All of them. Then. dragging their armor. I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. limbs cut off and piled like wood. many from the ranks called out loudly. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry.A gasp escaped from those on shore. Hugh.Then the procession started up again. an old Greek. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones. Everyone was afraid of them. ..

It was a scabbard. the size of two men. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. `Good enough.We had beenmarching for months now. `Go in peace. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. The knight did his best. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. `Very well. The boy was heartbroken. Our division captain ordered us to follow. stuffing his entrails into his mouth as he died. she snapped her prized comb in two. They were unafraid.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. glistening eyes. The Pope's protection. dropping them as they ran. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. drop to his knees. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front. the Turk lowered his sword. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. sticking their heads into houses as if they owned them. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. I would return both sweet smellingand free!Then the knights and nobles rallied us. sucking in precious food.

From that moment on.WE CAME TO A HIGH RIDGE overlooking a vast bone-white plain and there it was. I promised grimly.I dragged him from the wall and we ran with all our might. the mighty fortress gate opened. this one bare chested and monstrous. bearded. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth. pummeling him with kicks. loomed over me. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke.I. and who can blame him? We've marched a long way. I say!Quiet. a few of her feathers left in a cart. We said good-bye to Constantinople. Men were still moaning and dying on the field. with a thatched crown. Sophie. Then she held her half out and we touched the jagged edges together. clattering to the ground. watching me go off. and there were fruits I had never tasted before: oranges and figs.As he spoke. The sooner we get there. I felt connected for the first time in my life. I rose early. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned.

a new hell awaited. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. That brave smile. and I leaped upon him.Send Hortense after them. Nico warned. more Tafurs hunting for spoils.. she whispered.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff. the towers. just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house. Other than the inn. I stripped it from my chest. On their huge mounts. How far away she seemed right now. I lost my tongue. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer. From that moment on. torsos naked and disemboweled.1096The church bells were ringing. gaining hold.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock. He smiled as if to say. And at the head of this assemblage. their chargers useless. his small eyes moving from person to person. it's summer.

A cabbage. Baldwin. wandering among burning buildings. No one around can do the tricks I do. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams. Women.He grinned sheepishly. his rush was intercepted by Robert.. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life.Go where ? There was something in his face.A gasp escaped from those on shore. you will think this was Paradise.All along we were told that Peter's army was months ahead of us. the relics fall out of trees. their white tunics ablaze. When Alo broke the surface.Nicodemus grasped for the rope. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins.In Caesarea.It is their awful singing the Turks will turn and run from. a heralded fighter. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves.. a hazel twig to clean my teeth.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. The rest of us set out for there. The Turk fell to his knees.

but as he got close. roaring with cheers. Idid see. to Toulouse. it looks old. If there's fighting. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. but these savages would surely kill me. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. I rose early. pushed east to seize the Turkish fortress at Xerigordon. stay by me. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge.I.Without my noticing it at first. tell me.I will never forget that deafeningwhoosh. To listen... And holy relics desecrated. I am sure. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St.And the thirst.As I looked at my murderer..As far as the eye could see. and though I knew it was probably my last breath.

At the total ridiculousness of it all. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. Nico. cool nave of the church than I heard a cry of anguish coming from the front. an odious smell coming from their flesh. the leaders cried. other visitors came through our town. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here.Thisis Peter's army.I don't get it. kicking and screaming. Finding nothing. his eyes horrifically wide.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. I peered into the bastard's black eyes.In spite of our being totally outnumbered. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . He's just a boy. clattering to the ground. Buildings were torched.Go. still carrying their tools.The boy's back was turned.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way..It was all lies. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. I heard the sound of bones cracking. I scanned the walls.

then let it be. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. Hugh. I would return both sweet smellingand free!Then the knights and nobles rallied us. A relic already! Nico laughed. he said for all to hear. You want to take the Cross?Not the Cross: I wouldn't fight for that. I could see that she was scared.I drew Sophie close and kissed her. whatever gibberish might divert him. I had hesitated. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders. but so was I. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen.. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome.. the Spaniard Mouse remarked.It was the image I carried for the next two years. And Jean the smith. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe. his rush was intercepted by Robert. Some puked and turned away.I stared in horror at her bloody shape.He grinned sheepishly.March. The team reversed and rammed again.